The mood in the headquarters of the Permanent Committee to Recall the Governor was at an all-time high this evening, as reports from the polls made it clear that the recall effort was bound to succeed. Unfortunately, the inevitable celebrations (which are still going on at the time of this writing) have a price. The acting treasurer had feared to leave the funds collected to date for the next recall in a dollar-denominated account, in light of the condition of the currency markets. Unfortunately, he was a little unclear on the exact principles of constructing a sound investment portfolio, and he became carried away by associations he formed with the word portfolio. Long story short, he invested heavily in vintage port. This position is now in danger of being wiped out, as the rest of the committee has found where he hid the bottles.
On the bright side, the election of our new governor brings with it ample opportunites for fresh dissatisfactions to arise. Although it is possible that the state’s finanical problems may be solved with an influx of jewels, furs, and precious artifacts from the steppes of Cimmeria, it is not likely. The business community may be convinced that investment in the state and its high-tech workforce is the best means to address the rising influence of Skynet, but it’s a tricky sell. All of the film titles drawn upon for cute press items about the candidate (e.g. The Running Man, Total Recall) can cut both ways, and there are other titles, such as Predator, which have fairly unsavory associations.
All in all, the committee believes that the important steps have been taken: the voters of California have recalled a sitting governor, and they have learned how much fun it can be to fire the chief executive of the state. After all, private employers in California stipulate that the terms of employment are at-will, allowing either party to terminate without cause. Why should the government work any differently?
As the new governor takes stock of the state of the state, the Permanent Committee to Recall the Governor will take stock of the state of the governor of the state. The committee aims to promote itself as a clearinghouse for complaints against the administration as well as a central fundraiser for scheduling the next recall. Their mission: To be ready when the rubric meets the road. Their motto: Wir werden züruckkommen.
The Geek Chorus: Dood, maybe you should have stayed on hiatus.
Myself: You’re just bitter about Georgy.
The Geek Chorus: Dood!
Myself: I bet you’re saving your ballot receipt as a conversation starter. Perhaps you could call to console her on her loss.
The Geek Chorus: . . .
Myself: Have you launched your fan site yet? I’m sure it’s a lovely fantasy: dark-horse candidate falls for stalker, marries, and raises a lovely family of stalking horses and dim little ones.
The Geek Chorus: Man! You are in one nasty mood. I’m outta here.
Myself: Goodbye.